Feel good cancer story

By Len Pasquarelli
ESPN.com

SPARTANBURG, S.C. -- Like the little kid on Christmas Eve whose combination of pent-up excitement and untreatable anxiety eventually turns into insomnia, Mark Fields tossed and turned restlessly much of Friday night, finally gave up on trying to get some sleep, and headed for the Carolina Panthers locker room.

None of his early-bird teammates were surprised to see the nine-year linebacker. But they were surprised to see Fields, normally among the last of the Carolina veterans to check in for work, that early.

Then again, Saturday, the first time on the field in training camp for the defending NFC champions, wasn't just any other day. For the universally respected Fields, who missed the Panthers' run to the Super Bowl last year while he battled Hodgkin's Disease, the day marked the resumption of his football career. And, of course, his first encounter with full-contact drills since the final days of the 2002 season.

Despite some rust and obvious fatigue, Fields made it through the opening test with a passing grade.

"It's to the point now where it's a battle with myself," said Fields, who worked with the No. 1 defense, as he took the initial step toward reclaiming his starting spot at strongside linebacker. "The coaches are very aware of it and they have been great. But now, after all the chemo(therapy) and all the treatments, it's up to me. No one else can go out there for me and do the things I have to do to re-prove myself."

The fact Fields is back on a football field at all, let alone trying to climb back to the top of the depth chart on one of the NFL's best defenses, is already a feel-good story. Fields won't feel really good about things, however, until he is all the way back.
Toward that end, it seemed, Saturday produced some mixed results. There were plays on which Fields, 31, flashed his typical quickness to get to the ball. But on a few occasions, it appeared he struggled to merely get back to the huddle. There is a long way to go. Then again, given where Fields has come from, his progress is nothing shy of remarkable.

"I doubt most people understand what he has been through," said weakside linebacker Will Witherspoon. "Yeah, you hear the word 'cancer' and everyone reacts to it pretty much the same way. But for an athlete, a person who earns a living with his body ... well, I mean, you never expect to hear that word. You think you're invincible, right? So, mentally, as well as physically, he's had to fight back."

Witherspoon once accompanied Fields to observe a chemotherapy treatment for Panthers linebacker coach Sam Mills, whose battle with cancer continues. The unusual experience provided Witherspoon a raw insight into what Fields and Mills have faced, increased his respect for both men and steeled his conviction to help both come all the way back.

The optimism of Saturday's two workouts aside, even with the positive vibes, Fields still has questions that will need to be answered before he is deemed whole again. He will be closely monitored and, in a game where there are no gimmes, will have to produce.

"At some point," acknowledged coach John Fox, "you have to use the same measuring stick for Mark that you use for everyone else. He knows that."
Greg Favors, who moved into the starting job after Fields was diagnosed last year, has departed in free agency. But the Panthers signed veterans Jessie Armstead and Brandon Short, the latter a young, three-year starter for the Giants, in free agency. The strongside spot, it seems, is one of the most competitive on the team.
Then again, for Fields it feels pretty good just to be able to compete again. Part of the depression he battled last year was the feeling of being separated from the team, not a part of the success -- an interloper of sorts. It's a common theme suffered by any player who is injured for an extended period but, of course, Fields' circumstances were more severe than most.
"There were times last year when, on a bad day, you would think to yourself, 'Man, this isn't going to happen,' " recalled Fields. "It humbles you and changes your perspective. And it makes the (comeback) all the sweeter, too, and that really drives you."
Len Pasquarelli is a senior writer for ESPN.com