Saturday, June 12, 2004

Will's eulogy

By Will Martin

Why Casey? If you knew Casey, if you knew here at all, if her life even touched you once, you've asked why.

Why not the drug dealer? The murderer? Why not the bad people of this world? Or as Casey might ask, why not one of the New York Yankees?

I don't know why, but for some clues, I turned to Casey. Casey loved to read and among her many books I found "The Problem of Pain" by C.S. Lewis, who himself lost a wife to cancer.

From that book, one line stands out. Lewis states "God whispers to us in our pleasure, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains."

If Lewis is right, God whispered often through Casey. Casey knew pleasure.

Casey personified pleasure. Whether it be a simple beer among friends or climbing South Carolina's highest peak only months after her first bout with cancer, Casey refused to allow life's cirumstances to deny her life's pleasures.

If Lewis is right, God also spoke through Casey, because through her battle with cancer, she awakened many a conscience.

Young coworkers were reminded that life isn't about the next paycheck or next year's vacation, but it's about what you'll do with today.

A locker room of high school football players learned from Casey that their troubled homes and questionable lots in life were not insurmountable injustices, but challenges from which they could grow.

Casey's daily courage pricked our conscience with the truth that warriors aren't found just on battlefields, but heroism is all around us, if we'll only slow down long enough to look.

In the end, Casey knew pain, which brings us back to why. Why, if Lewis is right, would God send an angel like Casey through a hell like three rounds of cancer? What was he shouting to her? To us? I don't exactly know.

But I know Casey found God through the pain. In one of our last moments alone, she told me that I could hold her hand on this side of eternity, but that Jesus gets to hold it on the other - in her words, "the perfect package deal."

I've cursed God plenty throughout my 32 years of life, including the past several days. But now, seeking His grace, for my own existence, I will choose to view Casey's life and illness and death, not as injustices, but as a loving shout from a father trying to speak and whisper to his hurting child. For those of you who love Casey, and you are many, I hope you will find the grace to do the same.

We'll miss you Casey.
Will delivered this eulogy at Casey's funeral.

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