Friday, May 28, 2004

The Haphazard Colleen

From Hampshire Life Magazine, March 13, 1998
By Casey Kane

I think my scream was the loudest. Last Jan. 10, when the call came telling me and the 20 other women to line up, it was only 6:10 p.m. I was still wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt. My hair was in a ponytail and my "dress" shoes were emblazoned with the word Adidas.

The minutes before the Holyoke Colleen Contest were winding down, and I was nowhere near ready. All week I had been jokingly calling myself the Haphazard Colleen. I made no bones about the fact that my usual hairdo is a ponytail and I can count on my hands the number of times I've worn makeup. When I told people what I was doing their response was "You?!? In a dress?!?"

But, truth be told, I have always wanted to ride on the colleens' float in my hometown parade. I have memories of holding my father's hand as a little girl and walking to the spot in front of Holyoke High School where my family always settled in to watch the St. Patrick's Day Parade. We'd brave the typically blustery mid-March day with a thermos or two of hot chocolate and afghans made by my grandmother.

As the members of the Holyoke High School band marched by I knew the float carrying the Grand Colleen was approaching. I always thought the colleen's float was the most beautiful, its sparkling colors ablaze in the early spring sun. The women on the float were even more regal than their vessel, decked out in green gowns, glittering jewelry and elegant fur coats.

I dreamed of one day sitting atop the parade centerpiece, waving to my adoring public, a smile that would make Pepsodent jealous. I yearned for the chance to don a tiara, longed for the trip to Ireland that the Grand Colleen wins.

EVERY YEAR THE Holyoke St. Patrick's Day Parade Committee holds a pageant to select the year's reigning colleen. The contest is open to females of Irish descent from Holyoke and South Hadley. They must be between the ages of 17 and 22; they must also be single and have never had a child.

During my high school years, several friends of mine were chosen as colleens, yet I always put off entering the contest. "I'm waiting until next year," I'd say, or "I missed this year's deadline."
But I turned 22 last July, and the fact that the contest's age limit is 22 was not lost on me.

In the fall, when I saw the announcement of the annual contest in the paper, I knew what I had to do. With my days of eligibility dwindling, I vowed to enter this year's contest.

Of course, I was up against more than I was prepared for.
First of all, I am a college student, and the collegiate budget is not designed for a wear-it-once-and-you're-done formal gown. I mean, I run with a crowd that thinks getting dressed up simply means coming anywhere near an iron. So with my bargain-shopping younger brother Tim's words ringing in my ears, I headed for the Amherst Salvation Army store. There I found a beautiful, hardly worn, off-the-shoulder light green dress for $12.99. There were girls in the contest whose earrings cost more than my dress.

Since my friends are also more prone to apply athlete's eye black than eye shadow, I had no idea what to do with my hair and makeup. But after a lot of frustration on my part, along with incredible patience and generosity from my fellow colleens, I managed to come up with a simple, elegant look.

The look, however, is only part of what makes up the Holyoke Colleen Contest.

The day of the pageant began with each colleen being interviewed by a panel of three judges. I'm sure everything went all right. I can't quite remember for sure, however, because it was 8:40 a.m.; I had drawn the early-bird #2 spot out of a hat. I am not a morning person, and I only hope it didn't show too badly. I do remember I was asked such things as my career goals (sportswriting), what kind of books I like to read (John Grisham and various sports books), and why I wanted to be colleen (see above).

That took care of the very early morning. For the rest of the day I had to sit and wait for the other contestants to complete their interviews. I didn't have an appointment to get my hair done, nor did I schedule anything at the nail salon. I was the Haphazard Colleen.

This fact became painfully obvious when one of the pageant directors announced a final walk-through of the evening's event, prompting my scream. Fifty minutes later, however, after several tries with curling irons, hair sprays, blushes, mascaras and powders, I was escorted by a Marine named Raymond out onto the stage of the Leslie Philips Forum at Holyoke Community College.

The lights were intense, and that, combined with the fact that I was not wearing my glasses, made it impossible to see anything more than 3 feet in front of me. But when I strolled through the trellised archway on the arm of my impeccable Marine, all my pre-pageant fears and jitters washed away.

I felt like a princess. And for the three minutes or so it took emcee Kathy Tobin of Channel 40 to read my resume, for the brief time I was alone on the stage in front of everyone assembled, I felt beautiful and important and admired – just as I'd imagined the Grand Colleen would.

While we waited backstage for each contestant to be introduced, we voted for Miss Congeniality and had pictures taken. Despite the activity, the nervousness was palpable. Then, after what seemed like an eternity and a half, we all filed back on stage for the announcing of the winners.

Jennifer Wall took home Miss Congeniality, and was picked as one of the five colleens who would go on to compete for the title of Grand Colleen. Annie Glanville, Sarah Hohol, Megan Murphy and Kimberly Willis were named finalists as well. Willis would go on to be named Grand Colleen at the Coronation Ball on Feb. 28 at the Log Cabin. All five will ride on the colleen float in the St. Patrick's Day Parade on March 22.

Though I wasn't one of the finalists, I wasn't disappointed as I walked from the stage, the audience still applauding the five. Sure I would have liked the chance to ride on the float in the parade. But I had fulfilled enough of my dream by simply entering the contest.
And I still have the dress, the bow that came with my flowers, and many pictures. I tell my friends that yes, I entered the contest and I had a great time.

"You?!?!" they say.

"Yeah, me."

University of Massachusetts student Casey Kane of Holyoke was an intern with the Gazette's sports department this winter.

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